Thursday, September 9, 2010

Lord, "No Matter What...I'm gonna Love You!"

Tamatha "Tami" Thornton Fleming
September 14th, 1968 - July 6th, 2010

"I'm running back to your promises one more time.
Lord... that's all I can hold on to!
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise,
but NOTHING surprises YOU!
Before a heartache can ever touch my life...
It HAS to go thru Your hands
And even though I keep asking WHY...
I keep asking WHY....

On July 6th, my world was shaken to the point of complete brokenness. My older sister, my friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my encourager, my mentor, (in the eyes of a little sister) my hero... was involved in a fatal car accident and instantly met our Savior.
The first couple of days were of nothing but sheer shock and questions. WHY? Desperately seeking my Lord, I poured out my heart and asked my questions. God's love reached down, wiped away my tears and opened my eyes to His revelation. He was not offended by my need for assurance. He simply gave me the answers I so desperately needed... peace that surpasses ALL understanding and supernatural joy. He gave me a reason to sing and amazingly turned my mourning into dancing!

"There’s no way I can make it without Your help,
I wont even try it.

I know You have Your reasons for everything,

So I will keep believing,

I came to the conclusion... You either trust God or you don't! Simple as that! God ALWAYS has our best interest at hand. We do not know the future. We do not know what lies ahead. We do not know our capabilities. Only God knows. For, GOD KNOWS ALL! I can only taste the very tip of HIS love and yet even the tip is more than I can comprehend. HIS Love is ENDLESS!! HIS mercy endures forever. With every fiber of my being I know God gave my sister as much time on this earth as He could without compromising HER good.


After a long night of weeping, God awakened me to the words of the song.. Shout unto God... "The enemy has been defeated... Death couldn't hold you down... We're gonna lift our voice to victory. We're gonna make our Praises loud!" Then He reminded me of how satan plotted against Jesus. Oh.. as Jesus was beaten, tortured and murdered, the enemy thought he had won. I'm sure he was laughing with an evil sneer. But little did he know that his very own plot to kill was the very instrument used to defeat him.
God turned satan's evil plot into his own demise.

The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnashes his teeth at them;

but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows his day is coming.

Psalm 37:12-13

I know where my sister is... I know that as she walks the streets of gold, My sister laughs with the Lord. For the enemy's attempt to destroy her failed miserably! She's more alive today than ever before. She's feeling happiness that we can not even imagine.

We may not always understand God's reasoning for allowing circumstances into our lives. But we either Trust Him or we don't. Once we understand the indefinite amount of His love, we have no other choice but to Trust Him. HE ONLY CONTAINS GOODNESS! Sometimes it's hard for our feeble minds to grasp His reasoning, because we want to look at things with carnal eyes, but God sees the eternal picture. Life on this earth is nothing compared to eternity. I would rather spend one day on earth and have all eternity to laugh, giggle and chat with my sister. Then spend 100 years with her on this earth, only to part for all eternity.

We will all have moments of questions in this life, but I can promise you one thing... if we truly seek His face, He will always give us the answers we need. I am able to understand that because of circumstances that I could not foresee. God reached down and embraced my sister in the perfect, premise, exact moment she needed Him. God's timing is IMPECCABLE!

I've taken the last couple of months to allow God to heal me. I needed Him to mend my heart before I could truly pour it out for the would to see. I trusted Him to piece me back together again. He is ALWAYS FAITHFUL! Although I miss her passionately, God's Grace once again carries me. I seek His presence often and bask within His peace. "Within His presence there is fullness of joy", I understand this better now than ever before and it's that supernatural joy that is constantly keeping in awe of His magnificence.

"Whatever I might be feeling,
God You are my Hope, and You will be my strength!"

No matter what... I’m gonna love you, I’m gonna need you,
No matter what.... I’ll trust you,
No matter, No matter, No matter what!
"No Matter What" by Kerri Roberts


Kelli said...

I am so, so sorry to read this sad news. My heart goes out to you and your family and I admire your faith always! God bless.