Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Savior Please... Keep Saving Me

So often, I receive emails saying..."You're so strong." People read Serenity's testimony or hear the testimony of how God saved my marriage and they immediately assume I'm a strong person. Each time I read or hear that line, I have to chuckle a little. The thought of someone thinking I'm a strong person is just so funny to me. Truth is... I'm not strong at all. I'm one of the weakest people I know. The only reason I made it through these various trials was because like a limp, unconscious damsel in distress, my hero which is my Savior... had to carry me.
Oh... I try to be so tough, but I'm just not strong enough.

Recently, God used the story of Elijah to remind me of how much I need my Savior. In 1 Kings, we read how Elijah performed many miracles and in the 18th chapter, we read that Elijah stood strong through many tests of faith. God used his faith to open the eyes of those who worshiped Baal. Elijah was up against some mighty spiritual warfare and he stood strong in faith until the rain fell and the prophets of baal were slaughtered. Through his faith many souls were turned back to God and many rejoiced in the name of the Lord. Then soon after in the 19th chapter we read that Jezebel discovered all that Elijah did and she vowed to kill him by the next day.
Now when Elijah heard she was after him, he ran scared. The word says..
"he arose and ran for his life... and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, “It is enough! Now, LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!”
So after all that he witnessed God accomplish through him, after everything that had happened, even after the impossible was made possible and Victory was celebrated, he still gave up and ran for his life, when he found out a WOMAN was after him. (true, there's a powerful evil spirit behind that woman, but that's a different message)
God spoke to me through this story. Elijah knew God could move mountains. Elijah knew that God would save him again, but Elijah was tired. He had fought until he couldn't fight anymore. Elijah had grown weary.
The fight of faith is tiring. The enemy loves to attack and attack until we grow weary. Sometimes we get so caught up in fighting for others that we tend to forget about our own armor. We neglect our own strength.
Last week, God spoke to me and said... "
You started out this race strong and determined. You allowed nothing to stand in your way. Even when those whom you love, said give up.. you stood strong and watched Me move mountains. Now that the mountains are hills and the problems are small, you're ready to give up... because you've grown weary."
You see in my determined fight to help others, I've allowed my time to become consumed with my ministry. I've noticed lately that every time I try to minister to someone during a trial in their life, the enemy attacks my family in that same area. I minister to someone about standing for their finances, and immediately the enemy attacks my bank account. I minister to couples about standing in faith for their marriage and immediately the enemy attacks my marriage again. Now these attacks are nothing like the mountains I've faced before, extremely minor in comparison, but yet I'm ready to call it quits and just surrender. Like Elijah, I've grown weary.
If we read further we discover how God strengthened Elijah...
"Then as he lay and slept under a broom tree, suddenly an angel touched him, and said to him, “Arise and eat.” Then he looked, and there by his head was a cake baked on coals, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank, and lay down again. And the angel of the LORD came back the second time, and touched him, and said, “Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for you.” So he arose, and ate and drank; and he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights as far as Horeb, the mountain of God."
Elijah had to get in the presence of the Lord and eat. Now we see in Matthew 4:4...
“It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’

God was telling me that I had grown weary because I had been neglecting my OWN spiritual strengthening. In order for my ministry to flourish, in order for my family to withstand the storms, I need to set aside time for my own growth. Yes, I attend church regularly! Yes.. I read God's word! Yes, I pray, but I need more! I need to forget about all the worries and just bask within His presence. I need to spend time worshiping and getting to know Him all over again. I need to lay everything else aside and just nourish my relationship for awhile. I need to get in His presence... read His word... and let Him feed me.

I'm NOT a strong person... I desperately need my Savior!

I try to be so tough.. but I'm just not strong enough.
I can't do this alone, God I need you to hold onto me
I try be good enough, but I'm nothing without Your love
Savior Please... KEEP SAVING ME!

Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's sav
ing me

Savior Please - Josh Wilson

Savior Please... KEEP SAVING ME!