Thursday, August 20, 2009

Martha yearning to be like Mary

"Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But only one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

Recently God has been dealing with me on a certain issue. Throughout my life, I have made a vain effort to please the people I'm close to. The thought of disappointing or letting down those that I love, somehow consumes me. Almost to the point of an obsession! I am constantly asking myself..."Did I do the right thing?... "Could I have done more?... Did I say the right thing?... Should I have said more?" I become frantic when I believe I might someone down. Then when things don't go the way I believe that should, I always blame myself.

My Christian life is no different. I have been living my life to please my Savior. Which is a GOOD thing... helping others, spreading the gospel, sharing our testimony and encouraging those needing hope. However, when things happen that I do not understand. I immediately blame myself... "Did I miss God? Did I say or do the wrong thing? Lord forgive, I will try harder!!" I truly believe that the desire to please our Lord is a good quality... a GOD given quality. Until.. it becomes the center of your focus and you end up missing the greater picture.

Lately I find myself as a Martha yearning to be like Mary! Just like Martha I feel like I have become frantic in my preparations. I've been so busy trying to please my Lord that I'm missing out on the only thing that really matters... being in His presence. At night in my desperate calls out to him, I hear him saying... "All I need is your Love. Then all these things will come." If I want to accomplish my purpose on this earth, if I want to be the person God created me to be, if I truly want to please my Savior, then first I must be content with having ONLY Him! He is the ONLY thing that matters! If I'm truly walking in His presence then I don't have to worry about letting Him down, because He's guiding my steps!

I do not want to be a Martha. Jesus was in her house. He was right next to her, but yet...she missed the only thing that mattered... His closeness. Mary savored every moment with her Savior. She worshiped Him! She loved Him! She was happy to just be near Him! Martha tried frantically to please Jesus, but in the end Mary's the one who was truly adored!

I have cut back on my ministering and blogging. Because if I truly want to be an instrument that God can use, then I must first center in on my relationship. I must focus on ONLY His presence. I must enjoy the closeness of my Savior! Get to know Him again! Love Him! Worship Him! Then I will grow and do as HE leads me!

I want to please my Savior! I want to help others! I want a flourishing ministry of Victory and Hope.. because I have a strong desire to make a difference, a deep compassion for complete strangers. I want to be a servant of the Lord accomplishing great things in HIS name! But I must be obedient... "All I need is your Love! Then all these things will come!"

Love in Christ,