Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Serenity's Story Part 8 - God's assurance!

On our way back to the room, my mother called my cell phone. I immediately could hear the excitement in her voice. She had been desperately seeking God, praying for reassurance. Through her tears of joy she said, "Dana, Reni's going to be okay. God has given me the assurance that she is going to be okay. "

When I hung up the phone I was having mixed emotions. I was ecstatic that my mother had received that assurance, but at the same time was annoyed at the fact that I myself had not yet received it.

I knew that God could take me to the place where I know but I know. Just as I know about my salvation, I could know about my daughter's healing. I never would voice any doubt. I only spoke the truth as God had written it but up until that time there was always this 'what if' in the back of my mind. What if the doctors were right? What if she didn't make it? I didn't want to think those what ifs.

I wanted to know, just as I know that the color of my eyes are brown and there is never a well… what if they are blue... in the back of my mind. I wanted to know that my daughter was healed. I struggled with that for several days.


One night, I came to the end of my rope. I knew that without that assurance my faith was not going to make it. I desperately cried out to God. Within my spirit I heard him reply, "Would you still love me?"

What? Lord is that you?, I thought.

"Would you still love me?"

I sat there and thought about it for awhile. If God chose to take my daughter from me today, could I still love HIM?

My mind drifted back to Serenity and how much I loved her. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. I would give my life, if it meant it would save her from just a small amount of pain. Then it dawned on me, how much greater is our Heavenly Father's love for us. Our love fails dramatically, compared to HIS love for His children. I knew that it He chose to take my little girl from me, It would not be because we were being punished, But ultimately because that is what would be best for her. You see, only God knows the future. Therefore only He can determine was is best for us.

At that moment, I fully trusted God. Within my spirit I heard his voice again. "Would you still love me?"

I replied, "Yes Lord, I would still love you! I would still serve you and hardest of all, I would still praise you."

I suddenly felt a release, like a 100 pounds had been lifted right off my chest. I fell asleep that night praying. Sometime in the middle of a very sound sleep, I was suddenly awaken. Whoosh! The Glory of God fell upon me and I began Worshiping and Praising the Lord. I was laughing hysterically. The only words I could manage to speak through the tears of joy were, "Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus."

I immediately awakened my husband to tell him that I knew our daughter was healed.

Courtesy of
http://www.throughthevalleyofserenity.com/



Additional information:

God knew before time ever began that our daughter would be born with these birth defects. He knew exactly where our journey would take us. He knew exactly how He would use it for our good and His Glory and He knew that she would receive His healing. He was just waiting for me to completely surrender her to Him.

One of the hardest parts about being a parent is learning when to let go. All of my children where dedicated and I went through the motions of saying, "Yes Lord I'm placing this child in your hands. He or She belongs to you. " However, at the same time I was still desperately holding on. A mother wants to be the one to kiss those boo boos away. A mother wants to be the one who wraps her arms around them and makes it all better.

I knew what God's word said according to healing. I knew that it was His perfect will to heal her. I stood firm on those promises. But I had to completely let go, stand back and allow Him to move.

Every trial we encounter has a purpose and a promise. God uses trials to mold us and make us into the person He created us to be. (James 1:1-2) While His purpose is being perfected within us, we stand on His promises. We learned so much from our journey, but the greatest lesson He taught us was...... just to trust Him.

In order to receive a miracle from God. He first will rid us of any obstacles. (perfecting His vessel) These obstacles may be unforgiveness, bitterness, selfishness or simply just unbelief. For me it was completely letting go and giving God complete control over every aspect of my life.

I had to get to the place where I could honestly say, "Whatever happens.... Whatever road you take me down Lord.....I will still love and serve you with my whole heart. " God heard my words and then saw that my heart was sincere. Once that obstacle was gone, His hand was able to move swiftly and mightily within our midst. This was the turning point in Serenity's health.

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