Lord, "No Matter What...I'm gonna Love You!"

Tamatha "Tami" Thornton Fleming
September 14th, 1968 - July 6th, 2010

"I'm running back to your promises one more time.
Lord... that's all I can hold on to!
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise,
but NOTHING surprises YOU!
Before a heartache can ever touch my life...
It HAS to go thru Your hands
And even though I keep asking WHY...
I keep asking WHY....
NO MATTER WHAT... I'm gonna LOVE YOU!"

On July 6th, my world was shaken to the point of complete brokenness. My older sister, my friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my encourager, my mentor, (in the eyes of a little sister) my hero... was involved in a fatal car accident and instantly met our Savior.
The first couple of days were of nothing but sheer shock and questions. WHY? Desperately seeking my Lord, I poured out my heart and asked my questions. God's love reached down, wiped away my tears and opened my eyes to His revelation. He was not offended by my need for assurance. He simply gave me the answers I so desperately needed... peace that surpasses ALL understanding and supernatural joy. He gave me a reason to sing and amazingly turned my mourning into dancing!

"There’s no way I can make it without Your help,
I wont even try it.
I know You have Your reasons for everything,
So I will keep believing,

I came to the conclusion... You either trust God or you don't! Simple as that! God ALWAYS has our best interest at hand. We do not know the future. We do not know what lies ahead. We do not know our capabilities. Only God knows. For, GOD KNOWS ALL! I can only taste the very tip of HIS love and yet even the tip is more than I can comprehend. HIS Love is ENDLESS!! HIS mercy endures forever. With every fiber of my being I know God gave my sister as much time on this earth as He could without compromising HER good.

"NO MATTER WHAT.... I'LL TRUST YOU!"

After a long night of weeping, God awakened me to the words of the song.. Shout unto God... "The enemy has been defeated... Death couldn't hold you down... We're gonna lift our voice to victory. We're gonna make our Praises loud!" Then He reminded me of how satan plotted against Jesus. Oh.. as Jesus was beaten, tortured and murdered, the enemy thought he had won. I'm sure he was laughing with an evil sneer. But little did he know that his very own plot to kill was the very instrument used to defeat him.
God turned satan's evil plot into his own demise.

The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnashes his teeth at them;

but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows his day is coming.

Psalm 37:12-13

I know where my sister is... I know that as she walks the streets of gold, My sister laughs with the Lord. For the enemy's attempt to destroy her failed miserably! She's more alive today than ever before. She's feeling happiness that we can not even imagine.

We may not always understand God's reasoning for allowing circumstances into our lives. But we either Trust Him or we don't. Once we understand the indefinite amount of His love, we have no other choice but to Trust Him. HE ONLY CONTAINS GOODNESS! Sometimes it's hard for our feeble minds to grasp His reasoning, because we want to look at things with carnal eyes, but God sees the eternal picture. Life on this earth is nothing compared to eternity. I would rather spend one day on earth and have all eternity to laugh, giggle and chat with my sister. Then spend 100 years with her on this earth, only to part for all eternity.

We will all have moments of questions in this life, but I can promise you one thing... if we truly seek His face, He will always give us the answers we need. I am able to understand that because of circumstances that I could not foresee. God reached down and embraced my sister in the perfect, premise, exact moment she needed Him. God's timing is IMPECCABLE!

I've taken the last couple of months to allow God to heal me. I needed Him to mend my heart before I could truly pour it out for the would to see. I trusted Him to piece me back together again. He is ALWAYS FAITHFUL! Although I miss her passionately, God's Grace once again carries me. I seek His presence often and bask within His peace. "Within His presence there is fullness of joy", I understand this better now than ever before and it's that supernatural joy that is constantly keeping in awe of His magnificence.

"Whatever I might be feeling,
God You are my Hope, and You will be my strength!"

No matter what... I’m gonna love you, I’m gonna need you,
No matter what.... I’ll trust you,
No matter, No matter, No matter what!

"No Matter What" by Kerri Roberts

Safety First...

Even Serenity's tricycle has it's own anti-lock brake system...

That little booger is stronger than she looks!

The more Serenity peddled the more lil Rose pulled! :)

Unique Knick Knack

Went to get groceries... picked the kids up from school.... told the kids to take Lil Rose out for her afternoon potty break.... unloaded groceries.
As usual, I was walking through the house a mile a minute, when I passed by the curio in our living room. I stopped... looked at the curio... tilted by head... hmm... something doesn't seem right... shook my head and took another gander.
Uh... yeah... something definitely is NOT right.

I burst into laughter once I realize...

Lil Rose is sitting perfectly still on a glass shelf inside our curio!

Apparently, Serenity thought she was sooo cute that she needed to be on display. She told her to "sit there and be pretty." The little dog didn't argue a bit. She just sat there quietly and watched all the commotion. lol Poor Lil Rose!

I do have to admit though... I totally agree with Serenity.... I have seen very few knick knacks that could even compare with that little dog's cuteness! :)

Meet Lil Rose

We have a new beagle puppy. Noah named her Lil Rose.
The kids absolutely LOVE her. I have to admit she IS very cute.

Serenity likes to pretend she's her very own little baby.

"I'm your Mommy"
And...

"You're my baby."
lol Poor Lil Rose

Eli, on the other hand is a very good Daddy.
See how he knows to support the bottom half. :)

While playing house... Serenity says...
"Eli you're the Daddy and I'm the Mommy, Okay?'
Eli agrees..."Okay."
Then immediately Serenity hands the puppy to Eli and replies...
"Now get her out! I don't like dirty dogs in my house!"
Eli argues... "But her is just a little dirty dog."
lol Kind of gives you a bird's eye view into our home life...doesn't it?
Kids are so funny!

Cute Aren't they?
Uh... yeah... Serenity is... well... just Serenity. :)

Taken by Love

"The world will fade away as I lift my hands..."
"The King is worthy of praise He's the Great I Am."
"The joy you've given rings out as I lift my voice..."
"I'm captivated by your ways. So I will worship you!"

I believe one of the greatest miracles demonstrated by God is simply His ability to make all the cares... all the troubles... all the weight of this world just fade away. The moment we choose to worship Him, everything else just DISSOLVES...

The moment my heart yearns for worship... the moment it screams out... PRAISE HIM... The moment I choose to lift my hands... the world begins to vanish. Suddenly... My heart is overwhelmed! His Grace begins to carry me. I begin to soar like an eagle. Looking down on the cares of this world and yet not feeling it's misery. I begin to sing... I lift my voice in honor of Him... Even in the midst of destruction, My lips begin to quiver as His joy beams across my face. Because of His Grace... Because of His Mercy... Because of His Love... He takes me away and carries me.
He carries me to VICTORY!

All the cares of this world disappear because Lord....
"You've Taken me by Love"
"You’ve taken me by Grace"
"You’ve taken me away"
"I can’t resist because..."
"You’ve taken my heart!"

"You've Taken me by LOVE!"
Taken by Love - Kutless

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever!"
Psalm 30:11-12

"Jesus has Plenty of Money in HIS pocket!"

Sitting around talking about vacation, Serenity decides she wants to go to Disney World. I explain to her that a trip like that takes A LOT of money and money isn't something that is easily obtained... especially for a family of seven, living on one income. Well... my little speech did not influence Serenity's decision in any way. She just smiled and replied...
"Mommy... Jesus has plenty of money in HIS pocket and He will give it if we ask."

Her words just melted my heart! As adults we can learn SOOO much about faith from a child! She did not even hesitate. She simply relied on Jesus as her source.

"Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” Luke 18:17

I was simply inspired by her persistent faith. I know that it is always God's perfect will to bless His children. He LOVES to give us the desires of our heart and He always honors a heart of pure faith. I wasn't going to shut the door on her desire. I simply explained to her that we just had to wait on HIS timing. If it was God's will for us to travel to Disney World THIS summer than He would supply the funds to do it.

Meanwhile in my mind, I was just trying to figure out.... HOW! We live on a very tight week to week budget. Last year, Tommy's job survived a couple of big layoffs within his company (PRAISE GOD) but he had to endure some major cut backs on his hours. This put was way behind on several bills and unfortunately we only broke even recently. After almost an entire year in the red. We finally are back in the black again. We still owe, but at least we're no longer behind on payments. So here is my daughter, exclaiming that God will supply us a trip to Disney World... a trip worth several thousand dollars ($1000 just to get my family through the park gates for two days of fun) and our savings is nearly non existent. It did not seem promising... but then again matters that require faith never do! :)

Then came the BIG step. God spoke to me to start tithing 20%, instead of our normal 10%. Wow! Now talk about a leap of faith! God has ALWAYS supplied all of our needs, but we were counting pennies just to get by before. So the thought of coming up with an extra 10% on top of the normal 10%, was a bit scary. But in my heart, I knew that even if God had to rain manna from heaven (Exodus 16:4-5) or give us money in a fishes mouth, (Matthew 17:27) He would supply our needs. So I was obedient.

Guess what I learned? God confirmed in a physical manner what my heart has always known... No matter how hard you try you just can NOT out give God! The more you give, the MORE you receive!

Since I started tithing 20 %. I have had plenty to pay all of our bills on time, buy groceries, and still manage to put back some every week toward our vacation. We are slowly inching our way there... we ARE well on our way. Serenity's dream vacation to see Minnie Mouse's house is not so far fetched anymore. As a matter of fact, it may be a lot sooner than anticipated. We have even been offered a FREE place to stay while we're there. God is Good! He always honors FAITH and OBEDIENCE!
He remains faithful to all of His promises.

"Bring all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be food in My house,
And try Me now in this,”
Says the LORD of hosts,
“ If I will not open for you the windows of heaven
And pour out for you such blessing
That there will not be room enough to receive it."
Malachi 3:10-11

The only place in the Bible where God says to test Him to see if it works and You can be certain that it DOES! :)

Reflection of Love

Serenity loves to sit on my lap and gaze into my eyes...
"Mommy, I can see me in YOUR eyes!"
She will bat her eyes, tilt her head and smile. She thinks she looks so pretty in the reflection in my eyes.

When I see her, I look at her with love. I see my perfect, beautiful little baby girl. I look past her ornery behavior. I see past her smart little mouth. The love of a mother looks past all wrong doings and just sees her beautiful, blameless child.

The love of a mother is only a taste of what our Heavenly Father feels. When we become a child of God, Jesus sees us through eyes of love. He doesn't see our mistakes. He sees us covered in His blood... spotless, purified and blameless. He sees us worthy of even the greatest blessings!

The enemy loves to tell us we don't deserve God's blessings. He knows we will easily believe his shenanigans because truth is... we don't deserve them. That's the reason Jesus came to die for us... but now oh now... through the blood of Jesus we are joint heirs to ALL His Kingdom. By His LOVE we become sons and daughters of the almighty King!

When we look into the mirror, the enemy makes it easy for us to see all our flaws.. all of our imperfections. But if we could just strive to see... if we could just draw close enough to Jesus... if we could just reach up and sit on His lap... If we could just gaze into HIS eyes and see our reflection in HIM....oh how beautiful we would appear and how worthy we would feel!

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will -- to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. ~ Ephesians 1:4-6

"Jesus, I want to see Me in Your eyes!"

Love,